In trying to become an accepting person, we get in our own way and smother the possibility of real acceptance. At best we make a clumsy imitation of what is always energetically liberated, cannot be contained and is simply unconditional.
If our actions are tinted with signs of resigned frustration, defensiveness, striving and the like, it’s because the causes of non-acceptance are being excluded. This might be a useful signpost to what the way of zazen is – the deeply transformative and inclusive way of acceptance – not a static shell.
When impulses to deny or chase after arise, where are they based? On what are actions of body, speech and mind, based? Other than a confused human mind, is there anything in this universe that is not always manifesting acceptance?
The selflessness of existence is impossible to see if we are viewing the world as if it’s a drama and we are an audience apart. All of it is only mind. Us human animals seem to believe that because we want or perceive something to be so, it should be so. Wild animals, for an example, are instinctively and biologically propelled through life, but they aren’t creating delusive non-acceptance, even when fighting for their lives. Humans are different to other animals in some respects. For one – thankfully we are graced with receptive capacity for illumination, beyond being driven by imprints. For another – we have the ability to create the conditions to poison ourselves with greed, hatred and delusion, something else an animal can’t do.
The posture of formal seated meditation is nothing other than the opportunity for the precise realization of acceptance and for it to be actualized throughout body and mind. In giving ourselves to reality so directly, we are letting go of ourselves concretely. It becomes clearer that all situations are providing the same opportunity to get free of restriction. Realizing sitting like this, unrestricted vitality is not something compartmentalized from any other activity or time. Transforming the rigidity that comes with clinging to body and mind, the dynamics of existence are outside of what comes with attempts at forcing an interpretation or adopting of a viewpoint from which to observe the world.
The buoyant expression of original freedom is found in immersive participation where even realization is forgotten, a beautiful transparency of being. This endless way of zazen is together with everything in detail, whatever it is, at the same time. Sometimes then, acceptance is ‘yes’, and sometimes it’s ‘no’. The responsive nature of us comes forth in numberless ways because it is seamlessly with everything else and not fixed. This seamlessness is beyond any assessment of accuracy, so we can forget being self conscious about it and trust. Mistakes too are clearly mistakes, the way of reality is one of radical unforced honesty, poised and open to being taught. Not limp indifference then, not brittle preservation and not aggressive assertion.
Neither old or new, true mind doesn’t repeat tired ways or need to create original ones. There is no need to be confused about this trying to anticipate correct responses to things, mind is not a self and acceptance isn’t created by one. In intimately entrusting ourselves, over and over, it’s clear that ungraspable reality cannot let us down. We will be understanding that we don’t need, never have needed, never will need, anything else.
Willard Lee February 2022